- Category: Overall Success
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"Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.”
– Stephen Covey, author of the best-selling and highly-regarded book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”
“Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” - General George S. Patton, American General in World War I and II, 1885-1945
Yes, you can find lots of quotes, sayings and advice on how to treat problems – as opportunities for success or as necessary obstacles to overcome in order to achieve your goals. It is no secret that problem avoidance is usually shunned and discouraged in most self-improvement courses, books and even TV shows.
Yes… you may read all the self-improvement books you want, enroll in every motivational seminar you can or listen to all advice coming from life coaches until you drop to sleep (after which you wake up and then continue listening) but until you change your semantics, language and choice of words; you’ll change back into your default self – not treating problems as opportunities and worse, avoiding them at all possible cost.
And so, I propose a solution to end all problems about how to treat problems… STOP USING THE WORD “PROBLEM”… in fact, you should eliminate the word “problem” from your personal dictionary; in the alternative, every time you have a “problem”, YOU SHOULD NEVER CALL IT A “PROBLEM” BUT INSTEAD CALL IT A “CHALLENGE”.
“Challenge” vs. “Problem”
Using the word Problem
Using the word Challenge
Line of thinking
People think and talk about problems – the undesirable situation.
Challenges are accepted and how to overcome them are thought of and talked about.
People react negatively initially by first ranting on how “big” their problem is and how fucked up the situation is
People react positively immediately by looking for ways to overcome the challenge that was accepted.
Focus of thinking
People usually think about the undesirable situations that have arisen because of the “problem”. Many would even usually rant about how unlucky they are because of the “problem”.
Simply put, the focus is on the undesirable situation (the “problem”).
By using the word “challenge”, people focus their thinking on transforming or improving the current situation into a favourable one.
Simply put, the focus is immediately on the solution.
Negative anchor – if you have problems, it means you’re on your way “down”.
Positive Anchor – if you have challenges, you are on your way “up”.
Type of People
Losers have problems.
Champions have “challenges” or for others, “challengers”.
You don’t even have to read self-improvement books, take courses or listen to countless and numerous advice about how to treat problems… ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SUBSTITUTE THE WORD “CHALLENGE” FOR THE WORD “PROBLEM”.That’s one simple change, but has the same effect as all those self-improvement, motivational classes and books that focus on overcoming problems.
- Instead of saying "I have a problem...", say "I have a challenge".
- Instead of say "The problem with this situation is...", say "The challenge in this situation is...".
- Instead of saying "The problem with my family is...", say "The challenge with my family is...".
- Or instead of saying "My problem at work is...", say "My challenge at work is"
That’s how champions think. They don’t think about problems… they take on all challenges! Champions have challenges while losers have problems. Whose side do you want to be on – are you a champion or are you a loser?
For the last time, I repeat – instead of using the word “problem”, use the word “challenge” instead. Never use the word “problem” ever. There’s a big “problem” about that word.
- Category: Overall Success
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"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and faboulous?' Actually, who are not to be? You are a child of God. Yor playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing so enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of god which is within us. It is not in just some of us, it is in all of us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others." - Nelson Mandela (South African Political Hero)
We now go to the final phase of the law of attraction process. Like I said in the preceding article Law of Attraction Part 3: What do Do After Attraction... the Attraction Process goes something like this:
Attraction ---> Recognition ---> Response
In the preceding articles, we have discussed how to attract, and recognize the opportunities that came out of what you have attracted... now we'll move on to the last phase, the response.
By this time, much of the work had already been done, so there's little that needs to be done by this time.
In the response phase, all you need to do is, to do just that, RESPOND. Since you have already recognized the opportunity, you just need to respond by grabbing the opportunity.
Sounds simple and easy right? Yet, some people have a hard time with this stage. Most definitely because, they're afraid of their own success. They're afraid of leaving their comfort zone, and grabbing what they want.
One reason why this happens is because, they did not prepare themselves physically, mentally, and emotionally for this phase. Getting what you want involves change, and most people are averse to change. They can't leave their comfort zone even if it means getting what they want.
The best way to deal with this is to realize that getting what you want, naturally involves change. Change means leaving some things behind and venturing/exploring other arenas. If it makes you feel better, change will come to you whether you like it or not... so why not change for the direction that you yourself had set right?
I can't say much about this phase except that you should be mentally prepared to grab the opportunity if it presents itself, and don't hesitate to get what you want. Don't fear your own success, because you deserve it, so take it, it's yours!
- Category: Overall Success
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"Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes, because it's usually dressed in overalls and looks like a lot of work." - Thomas Alva Edison
"To recognize opportunities is the difference between success and failure." - Anonymous
"Intelligence consists in recognizing opportunities." - Anonymous
The second phase in the law of attraction process... this is the least understood, least recognized, least publicized but perhaps the most important stage in the law of attraction process. This is the stage where you realize what you affirmed and attracted in the first place. It's the Recognition Phase.
This phase is the middle in the complete process of the law of attraction, after the attraction phase, and before the response phase. Bearing this in mind, you can say that the whole law of attraction process goes like this:
Attraction ---> Recognition ---> Response
The Process - The 500-peso Bill Example
Let me give you a more concrete example of the process. Let's say you affirmed, visualized and tried to attract a 500-peso bill this morning - that is, you will have 500 pesos before the day ends. So later in the afternoon, you were just walking home from work, and you noticed a piece of paper flying around.
You examined the piece of paper more closely, and upon further examination, you realized it's a 500-peso bill! Then of course, seeing that nobody is the owner of that bill apparently, you took it, and kept it inside your wallet.
That is the whole process right there! When the 500-peso bill came floating in your proximity, you have accomplished the attraction phase. Now, since you observed and examined the 500-peso bill, you recognized that it's a 500-peso bill, thus completing the recognition phase. And when you took the bill, you responded. You got what you asked for.
Now, the Attraction Phase had already been discussed extensively in the preceding article Law of Attraction Part 1 - Avoiding the New Year Resolution Mistake and Law of Attraction Part 2 - Why Affirmations Don't Work. Now that we're done with that, let's move on to Recognition.
The Recognition Phase - The Hardest Phase
Recognition is all about recognizing what opportunities have come your way because of the things you have done during the attraction phase. You can not act on the opportunity if you didn't recognize in the first place that this opportunity that came your way, is the one that you attracted.
This sounds easier than it is, because it isn't. In fact, recognition maybe the hardest phase of them all.
In the example above, if you haven't tried to examine the piece of paper flying around, because you weren't observant and didn't want to exert any effort in looking at the paper more closely, because you already concluded that it's just a piece of trash, then you couldn't have been 500 pesos wealthier, effectively negating the steps that you did during the attraction phase.
See how important recognition is?
Another thing, the way opportunity presents itself could be various. There could be a billion or even a gazillion ways that you could get 500 pesos in any single day - your mother could have given it to you as she was just feeling generous, or your friend could have handed you 500 pesos because he felt obligated to repay you for what you did for him awhile back, or you could have been given a bonus by your boss unexpectedly for the remarkable work you did in a certain project, etc. That's the reason why this phase is the hardest.
There are a lot of missed opportunities that presented itself to the person asking for it, just because he didn't had the skillset to recognize opportunities as they come. Recognizing opportunities as they come may be the most important skillset you may acquire in your life.
Finally, the reason why recognition is hard is because it takes a lot of work... and most people who practice the law of attraction, or the secret, or whatever you want to call it, are lazy at best. They were led into thinking by these law of attraction gurus and experts that they need not do anything, and they will get what they want. That's why it appealed to a lot of people. The prospect of having anything you wanted in life, by just mere utterance of words, some visualizations, and written declarations, is a dream come true!
You will have to come to grips with reality boy! Success is not given to you, it is earned! Although, the tools needed to succeed may be given to you, you still need to use them yourself. God can't help you if you can't help yourself.
Improving in the Recognition Phase
Remember during part 1 of this series, I said that you shouldn't do anything and just let the universe do its thing in giving you what you wished for? In the recognition phase, this is where you take action.
Having said that, you have to develop the attitude necessary to put yourself into a position so that you're there ready to recognize opportunities as they pass by. This is where positive personality traits may be most useful... So what are the traits necessary in this phase?
You got to have zest in life. That means you live a life full of energy and enthusiasm. You don't just wake up in the morning and say "I don't want to go out today." Instead you have the mindset of a person saying "Today is another day to go out, live life, and enjoy!" Having that zest will put the fire in your spirit that gets you going and puts you in a position to receive all that God wants you to have.
This is very important. You have to be observant as regards all of the things that life has to offer. Like in the 500-peso bill example above, if the person who attracted the 500-peso bill was not observant, do you think he would have recognized that the piece of paper floating around was not trash but rather, treasure?
- Optimistic outlook
Having a positive vibe attracts positivity in your life. You attract what you project. Therefore, you have to be positive in order to attract positive things. Also, having a positive outlook narrows your frame into positive things, and therefore, you would have a better "radar" for the positive things you're attracting in your life.
Being adventurous means trying out new things and being excited, rather than being afraid, to explore and discover new arenas and areas you have never engaged yourself into. Having this trait will increase your relational proximity to opportunities exponentially.
Being spontaneous means acting in the moment without having it pre-planned. Sometimes, you have to be spontaneous in order to realize that the opportunity is just right around the corner, if you just went with the flow, and "vibed with the universe." You don't have to stick to the plan all the time. Like I said, it restricts the ways the universe is giving you what you want, if you strictly adhere to plans. You have to be flexible, and being spontaneous is one of the ways to do that.
Someone said "True greatness is not defined by how much you receive, but how much you give." The Bible also says "Give and you shall receive." In fact, you should give a little even if you don't have a lot. Giving opens up your vibe to the universe, and makes the energy of the universe flow unto you. If you become greedy and decide not to give, you cut off the flow of the universe and thus, you repel opportunities.
In fact, you should give without expecting anything in return. If you give and expect something in return, that's not giving. And, the more anonymous you seem in being generous (meaning you give "in secret"), the purer the act of giving is.
The real reason "being humble" is here, is that being "boastful" (opposite of humble) is anti-attractive, anti-seductive, and certainly won't put you anywhere near recognizing opportunities, unless you want to attract a lot of enemies.
We could state a lot more, but it's safe to say that these traits pretty much cover everything necessary to be successful in this phase.
So there you go, just work on building those traits up and you will have it easy in recognizing opportunities that you yourself attracted during the first phase.
Funny bolero line from X Arts Forum Poster Cross
- Category: Overall Success
- Hits: 1964
"I always knew I was going to be rich. I've never doubted it for a minute." - Warren Buffet (one of the world's richest men)
Okay, we start with part 2 in a series. We're talking about the much-hyped "law of attraction." It was popularized by the best-selling book turned into a documentary film "The Secret."If you haven't read part 1, you can click I'm the King of Sexy (yeah, that's me making a declaration and affirmation haha) so at least you understand the premise of this article.
Today, we'll talk more about the affirmations... and why most of the time, THEY DON'T WORK. So don't buy in to the hype that these attraction gurus or experts are telling you. I'll bust their balls for you if you need proof.
Well, if you read part 1, you'll realize, I advocated using affirmations right? Why then am I contradicting myself? Read more closely, and you'll realize, they key word here is MOST OF THE TIME... so they do work, but most of the time, they don't.
Why Affirmations Don't Work
The main reason why affirmations don't work is that most people don't have that strong of a belief in their own affirmations. Yeah, they affirm regularly, they even write and say it out loud, but do they really believe in their own affirmations? Look at how affirmations are constructed... let's say you do not have a fit body yet, and your goal is to have a muscular, athletic and fit body this year, your affirmations would then look like this:
Now, if you say that statement in front of the mirror every morning... something will not feel right. You know why? Because you don't have a fit body yet! So when you say it, consciously you're saying you have a fit body, but subconsciously, you know that you don't have a muscular, athletic and fit body yet. It produces feelings of inconsistency, non-alignment and lie within yourself, and thus, makes you subconsciously doubt your statement. We all know that doubt is the opposite of belief, and belief is one of the primary ingredients in making this law work for you as I've said in part 1 of this series:
“Just imagine that the universe is a genie and you’re its master, and whatever you say, will manifest in the universe. It’s not too soon, but it will manifest sooner or later, and it needs time to incubate, so don’t doubt it will happen, just believe.”
There are 2 ways of making this all work:
I. Re-wording your affirmations
So what statements do we need to make to still set our focus on the prize, and attract our goals? Simple, instead of saying your affirmations, you begin the statement with the phrase "I'm in the process of..."
Using the above example we turn this:
"I have a muscular, athletic and fit body this year!!!!"
"I'm in the process of having a muscular, athletic and fit body this year!!!!"
This is definitely much more consistent with all your subconscious patterns, and thus makes your belief much stronger, pushing you closer psychologically to your desired reality, because instead of doubting yourself and discouraging motivation, it encourages and motivates you further, making you "take action" on your goals.
II. Setting a date and making a declaration
Another way to make it all work is to set a date and make a declaration. All credits go to X Arts Member Muchas for this one.
This almost has the same effect as re-wording your affirmations. However, it also has a deadline.
So we turn this:
"I have a muscular, athletic and fit body this year!!!!"
"On May 10, 2011, I have a muscular, athletic and fit body!"
Take note that for this to work; your deadline has got to be realistic, so as to eliminate self-doubt about your declarations. The process takes time, and the universe is not going to give you what you want immediately... that's just how nature works.
That's it! I hope you use this skillset to the maximum effect.
Wait for part 3 guys, its coming up within the week.
Peace! God Bless You!!!!!
See Part 3 in the Series.
See how blessed we are?
Be thankful and grateful. Cherish your life.
- Category: Overall Success
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“Begin with the end in mind.” – Stephen Covey, author of 7 Habits of Highly Successful People (the most successful and best-selling self-help book in history selling 26 million copies worldwide)
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” – Bill Vaughn
“New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.” – Charles Lamb
“Cheers to a new year and a chance for us to get it right.” – Oprah Winfrey
Another year had passed by, and another year is starting.
For pessimists, they're just glad that the year 2010 has ended. For optimists, the end of 2010 means the start of yet another new hope, which is the year 2011 for them. For others, it remains the same.
For us though, it represents the start of a new hope. It represents a new start, to do things right, to re-invent ourselves, and continue the momentum of the past year which had been remarkable.
We have to start the New Year right. The problem I see with most people is they start the New Year right by making lots of resolutions, but they forget about the resolution in the middle of the year. In popular terms, we call this Ningas Kugon. The reason why that happens is that most people usually just focus at the start, without any vision of the end in mind. They just state their New Year's Resolution, even write it, without any real end goal or vision in mind in doing the resolution. Yes, they have an end goal in mind, but it's vague.
So 1 way of beating the problem is "beginning with the end in mind",coupled with an unbreakable commitment to the vision and intense discipline. As they say, you can't really get anywhere without the commitment and discipline to get to it.
Creating and maintaining your CHECKLIST
So let's start the New Year Right. I want you to get an illustration board, or any big cartolina, and write down your end goals this year. That’s right, make a CHECKLIST.
So this is how I want you to do it:
1. List down the major categories which would represent the aspects of your life that you would want to change this year. In my case, my categories are:
I'll explain later each of these categories in detail much later.
2. Affirm your goals by writing them down according to their respective categories.
In doing this, you should write it down in the present tense, not in the future tense.
For example, if you want to be 1 million pesos richer, instead of writing “I will be 1 million pesos richer this year”, write “I am 1 million pesos wealthier this year!!!”
NOTE: We've developed a refined and more effective type of affirmations. Click here -> Why Affirmations Don't Work to read through it.
Another thing... always affirm in the positive. That means, you don't affirm what you don't want happening to you, you affirm what you want to achieve.
For example, if you want to be rich, you don't state "I'm not poor this year!" Or if you want to be lean, fit and healthy, you don't state "I'm not fat and unhealthy." Focus on the positive and what your goals are, not those things you're trying to avoid.
You can make as many affirmations as you can, but I suggest you keep them specific, and as short, concise, and definite as possible. Short, so that it’s easy to review them; concise so that it’s easy and simple to review them, and definite so that you get what you want specifically, and so that the vagueness won’t defeat your affirmations.
How does vagueness defeat your affirmations? Well, let’s just say if you’re not definite, you will still get what you affirmed, but it could be not what you’re wishing for. For example, if you affirm that you want a beautiful girlfriend, and you affirm properly, the universe may give you what you want, you will get your beautiful girlfriend… but what if she’s beautiful on the outside, but rotten on the inside? Yes, you got what you want, so don’t complain if you got what you want and you realize, it’s not really what you want after all. Better be specific and definite.
3. Visualize your affirmations by drawing, or putting cut outs or photos besides your affirmations.
Of course, the drawings/cut-outs/photos should represent the end goal you want to achieve by the end of the year.
For example, if you want to have a body like what Brad Pitt has, or be as sexy as Jessica Alba (for all you ladies reading this), you put his/her photo besides the written affirmations. Or if you want to be closer to your family, you could put your family photos there.
4. Internalize your affirmations by smelling, tasting, feeling your visualizations for around 5 minutes.
See how it feels like when you have achieved your goals, Spend some time to internalize it so that when you get it, it won't be as surprising.
A common theme with all these highly successful people is that when they achieved their goals, it seemed as if they have already expected it and don't seem as surprised. That's because they have already internalized it from the start. They were already successful internally (which means, in their hearts and minds) before they even achieved their success; it was only a matter of time of manifesting it externally before success was realized.
Live the experience even before it happens. Feel the outcome even before it comes.
5. Review your affirmations and visualizations by constantly reading your checklist everyday, twice a day. One, waking up in the morning and one before you go to sleep.
If you're reading them, don't just read them internally, READ THEM OUT ALOUD. The reason for reading them out aloud is you should be externalizing them constantly. Words are physical manifestations of your affirmations (as well as writing them down, but since you've written them down, no need to re-write them again).
Having said that, you should put your checklist in a place where you are sure to see it everyday. That makes it easier for you to review. Your first goal is to make it a habit, make the daily review habit your lifestyle.
That's why we call it a checklist... you should continually "check" it.
You can even make the review fun. Be creative with the review, so as not to make it a burden. Put it on your ceiling, on the bathroom door, on the door of your room, etc. In our bootcamps, we teach advanced visualization and affirmation techniques (such as symbolizing and putting anchors on 'em goals) that would make review easier and a snap.
Personally, I start my review by shouting "2011 is your year Ryu, this is it! This is your f***ing YEAR!" <-- Actually, this in itself, is already an affirmation, so feel free to include this affirmation as well, you can make it the title of your Checklist.
I suggest you start your review by shouting the above-mentioned statement as well, and shout it with conviction!
6. Go and live through your live as normal and as possible and forget about the affirmations when you’re not reviewing them.
Yeah, I know this sounds contradictory, but you have to give your subconscious mind a chance to achieve your goals. The common mistake most people make is they affirm constantly, every minute of the day. The problem with that is you shut off your subconscious mind from the process when you do that, and just let your conscious mind do all the work… and we all know that achieving you affirmations is 95% subconscious and 5% conscious. So let go and learn to relax. You will need your conscious mind again only during the recognition phase and the response phase.
A common rule here is just trust the process. Don’t worry about the process or how to achieve them. Don’t limit the process; let the universe do the work for you. There are a million ways for you to achieve your goals... so don't consciously limit yourself to just 1 or 2 ways.
Just imagine that the universe is a genie and you’re its master, and whatever you say, will manifest in the universe. It’s not too soon, but it will manifest sooner or later, and it needs time to incubate, so don’t doubt it will happen, just believe.
Remember, what you focus on, expands. It will happen eventually. I’ve seen it happen many times, I’ve been doing this since for 12 years now, and I’ve always achieved what I wanted to achieve every year I did this.
However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to move. Of course you have to be observant, energetic, have a lot of zest in life, positive, and be enthusiastic about them. And you gotta take action! Attracting them is just 1/3 of the process. The other 2 are recognition and response. I may cover the other phases in another article, but in the meantime, I know we can start with the foregoing for now.
Now, for the explanation of each of the categories
This is where you put my fitness and health goals this year. It could be losing 10 pounds, or 20 pounds, or even 30 pounds of fat. It could be gaining lots of muscle, or just toning down. If you want, it could be having better skin, better complexion or tan, smoother skin, being cleaner, or being free from diseases. It could also be “being the sexiest man alive", and then you can entitle it "Project Sparta" or whatever name you could think of that would inspire and motivate you.
This is where you put my financial goals this year. It could be having lots of money, cash, or investments, or assets, or businesses, or being promoted in your job, or having financial freedom, or having a new car or a house.
This is where you put your family goals. It’s important to be close to your family, and your family is something you should never forget. It could be being closer with your father, or mother, or siblings or even cousins. It could be having a lot of out-of-town vacations with them, or just mere spending time with them.
This is where you put your lovelife or sexual goals. It’s important to improve your sexual health of course, or else you’d go crazy. Besides, that’s the reason you’re here in X Arts, to improve the sexual aspect of your life. You could affirm and visualize having a playboy model as your girlfriend here, or put one girl here representing all the qualities you’re looking for in your partner. For girls, you could put your dream guy or prince charming here.
This is where you put your spiritual goals. It’s important to monitor your spiritual health and rekindle your relationship with God or (put deity of your choice here). Spirituality is a good aspect to improve upon just because it stabilizes your life and puts your perspective in to the proper frame.
This is where you put your contributions to society and your legacy. It could be helping the poor, setting up a foundation, or being a celebrity and a good role model, or writing a book.
Some people would add another category entitled “General”, which would represent goals not falling under the foregoing categories. It could include any SBA (Skillset Building Activities) or VBA (Value Building Activities) you can put in there. Things like learning to cook, or learning to sing, or wakeboarding in CWC, or visiting Paris. Feel free to add whatever in it as you see fit, it’s up to you.
Now, if you truly believe in God, and you absolutely believe that His plans for you are the best, that He will lead you into the right path, and that He will never lead you down the wrong path, just put here in this part "Whatever God Wants for Me."
Some additional notes
Don't be stressed in making this checklist. Yes, it would require some time and effort on your part at the start, but it will be well worth it. Besides, it's fun! You can do it with a partner or a friend whom you truly trust. Don't be pressured whenever you do it. Another thing, the investment in time and effort you put in to this would yield highly productive results, and it will be well worth it in the long run, since it concentrates your energy and focus on the things that really matter.
Enjoy the year and Happy New Year Brethren and Sistahs!!!!! 2011 is your year, claim it, and make it yours!
Read Part 2 of this Series.
New Year Jokes
"When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year, I gave up thinking."
Boyfriend and Girlfriend talking...