"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open mind" -Malcolm Forbes, US Art Collector, Author and Publisher, from his interview in Forbes Magazine
Humility? Does it Help?
This is X Arts, a premier brotherhood for seduction... but why the heck are we talking about Humility?
Believe it or not, this is a relevant topic. Humility helps because:
In fact, the reason why I'm writing this is because, I've noticed recently that a lot of people are becoming boastful about what they know, especially in the community. They achieve a little success, and then they think they already "know it all", and thus conduct seminars and bootcamps on the matter. That's dangerous because not only are you unattractive, you're spreading your "unattractiveness" to others by teaching them what you know.
Another reason I'm writing this is because, people in general, myself included, do not take criticisms well. We usually don't deal with criticism in the correct, most constructive and helpful manner. Our usual reflex to criticism is to defend ourselves and justify our actions. That is just closing your mind to growth, as well as to just looking foolish.
I admit I've been guilty of this as well, so don't worry if you think you are the only one who has this problem.
Criticism: Essential to Life
Criticism is essential to life. Instead of avoiding it like a disease or looking at it from a negative standpoint, we should learn to deal with it in a positive way. It doesn't matter if the criticism is negative or positive, or destructive or constructive. What matters is 1.) our willingness to take it and 2.) our response to it.
Self-Criticism vs. External Criticism
I am aware that a lot of people have "autocorrection mechanisms" - meaning they know how to criticize themselves, how to spot their own flaws, and instantly corrects themselves. And that's one of the reasons they don't want - they even say they don't need - to hear other people's criticisms of them because "they already know" (here we go on the know-it-all attitude again).
While I applaud these people for having these autocorrection tendencies, the fact remains that you're just a human being, and you can't see nor cover everything about yourself that needs to be addressed. That's where criticisms come in. They fill the gap about what you usually don't know.
Destructive Criticism vs. Constructive Criticism
There are 2 kinds of external criticism, the destructive one, and the constructive one.
Constructive criticism is that designed to help you, not destroy you. People who genuinely care for you are usually the ones who give this type of criticism at you. Both criticisms are actually helpful and useful, believe it or not. Constructive criticisms are useful and helpful to you because it is intended to help you, and more often than not, is accurate. In fact, I'd appreciate a constructive criticism more than flattery or compliments (which is usually a power play to manipulate you). A true friend would say more constructive criticisms than just compliments and positive things to you.
On the other hand, destructive criticism is the type of criticism designed to destroy you, not to help you. People who wish you ill are usually the ones who throw this type of criticism at you. Destructive criticism is useful to the extent that it motivates you. You let these types of criticism fuel you to drive you faster to your goal. With it, you become more motivated to reach your goal in the soonest possible time, and then you act accordingly.
Ted Williams, the baseball legend, used destructive criticism to be the legend that he is today. During his time, he would intentionally attack and irritate the media, prompting the media to launch various rants about him as a baseball player. Because of these various attacks on him, he became much more motivated to prove them wrong, and thus, he performed better every time he was criticized by the media. As a matter of fact, he performed at his best every time he was criticized by the media, and usually had a sub-par performance when the criticism stopped. He knew that destructive criticism fuels him, so he intentionally provoked the media to attack him.
Having discussed all the positive effects of hearing criticism, we should be looking forward to hearing it. To effectively do this, this is my assignment to you:
Instead of saying "I hope I don't have any mistakes and I don't get any criticism today"...
Find any 1 person and ask him "What is 1 trait about me that is unattractive or bad that you would want me to change?"
How do Deal with Criticism
People don't usually know how to deal with criticisms, even constructive ones. As I've said above, our usual response is to justify our actions and defend ourselves, masking our mistakes with well-crafted arguments and reasons.
An alternative way to dealing with criticism is to:
That's it! Hope this article helps in your journey to becoming a better person overall.